do any lights come ON, fuel pump arming, etc?

take a measurement of the bat voltage with key OFF and ON. you should get above 12.5 DC Volts

you find the fuses under the left side cover under the seat, and also a main 30A fuse under the right side cover.

 

NOTHING comes on. The first time I tried it, it clicked maybe twice, the headlight went out and nothing else happened.

After charging the thing all night on the Battery Tender, nada....

I'll have to take a look at the fuses tomorrow... thanks for the suggestion...
(i was considering taking a hammer to the ignition, just to see if that'd help)
LOL

 

Well, back to the drawing board.
All the fuses seem to be intact and I didn't find anything that looked like it was disconnected.
What else could it be? It was running (and starting) fine when I rode it last.

 

Make sure the kill switch is in the right position to start.

 

It is. But nothing even comes on....

 

with the key OFF and then ON I would check the battery voltage using a multi-meter connected to the positive of the battery and some exposed metal on the engine. this will tell you if the electrical ground is good.

*the kill switch that mr Bandit mentioned doesn't cut power to the whole bike, just the engine. you still get the fuel pump and the rest of the lights to come on with the key ON and the kill switch OFF.
**the kick stand has a switch that prevents the starter from turning when in gear, and also the clutch has a switch for the same purpose. but those don't explain your complete lack of power.

 

Pole to pole, the battery checks at 12.7
Positive to ground, it shows 1.0 with the key off; 0.0 with the key on

What's going on ?

 

Some people enjoy the puzzle-solving aspect of tracking down electrical system faults. Some people find it tedious and frustrating. You may be headed for a point where you need to decide which camp you're in on that.

Before we get to that point, though, I suggest you take your multimeter, set it to the lowest ohms scale (or "continuity" if you have such a setting), DISCONNECT BOTH TERMINALS OF THE BATTERY and use your meter to check that you have zero (or zero'ish) ohms from the battery end of the positive cable to that 30A fuse, from one side of the fuse to the other, and from the chassis to the battery end of the negative cable. It seems to me there's an open circuit somewhere where there shouldn't be an open circuit, and those are the easiest places to check. Check, also, across the ignition switch. The manual I have seems to be strangely silent on what pins should read what on that switch, but start with one lead on the brown wire and one on the white wire and see if you have some sort of continuity across the switch that changes between the off position and the run position. Again, all this is with the battery completely disconnected.

Beyond that 30A fuse, and the ignition switch, the circuits branch in so many directions it just seems unlikely -- not impossible, but unlikely -- that a fault farther along could take out every single electrical thing on the bike, which seems to be your situation.

 

inspect the battery ground on the frame (take it off, clean it, secure it tight). while there inspect the battery + and - connections.

 

I was going to respond with some serious advice, but then it dawned on me. You have a 900LT AND a Voyager, so now I am either pissed or jealous because I want both too.

Anyways I have had odd issues sometimes related to the kill switch attached to the kickstand, not sure if that is the situation here. Also, if the batery terminals or connection wires are at all dirty I would clean them off, a little dirt can cause a major interference somethimes.

OK back to my "only has a single bike in the garage life" ...

 

pretty much what @jventers said.

"Positive to ground, it shows 1.0 with the key off; 0.0 with the key on"

it appears to be a faulty ground. The bike itself is connected to the negative terminal of the battery with two wires. it is like an extender negative post of the battery. Measuring battery positive post and metal part of the bike should read the same voltage as the battery.

Clean the battery posts. For the bolts on top of the battery, I recommend using a socket instead of a screw driver. not long ago I noticed the negative on my battery coming loose.

This is the the main grounding wire that is connected to the engine, right on top of the transmission case. check the voltage there with multimeter: one probe to battery positive, the other probe on the end of the grounding wire on the engine. If it reads 12.7V clean that contact point and make sure everything is tight. the bolt can be reached from the right side...

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the negative post of the battery is also connected to the frame on the right side of the bike. take off the right side cover and below the relay box there is a black wire connected with a bolt to the frame. measure bat (+) and the exposed wire. clean the contact point.

if it reads 0 volts, check the thick grounding wires end to end with your multi-meter set on ohms; it should read the same value as touching the multi-meter's probes to each other...

 

I sought out this forum post as I have the exact same issue with my Vulcan 900. I have also followed the recommendations posted here to no availe.
It appears that this post ended without any relief being found. What was the outcome here??
Thanks!!