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Discussion Starter #1
I have a bit of an issue with the purchase of my vulcan 900 and was hoping for some help.

My fiancee has made the argument that buying it would be wasteful and that I should put the money towards our future, such as a house.

She also made the argument that from time to time I receive financial help from my parents, and they've adamantly stated that if I get a bike I would be "disowned". I know its an exhaggeration but I worry what would happen if they heard that I've spent money on something they forbid.

I stated that the bike would save a world in fuel and parking expenses over my SUV and that its something I've always wanted. This would include buying the bike at $6,100 and yearly insurance of about $860. Did I unintentionally lie?

I'm not trying to air out my personal issues but the truth is that my fiancee has valid points, and its left me with a knot in my stomach. Now I'm questioning getting that which I've always dreamed of having.

I was hoping for some honest and MATURE advice as to the topic and what I've stated, as like I said, I'm left feeling sort of unsure, like taking your feet off the ground the first time you ride.

Personnal/similar experiences would really help.

Any quick responses would be greatly appreciated as I was hoping to pick the bike up
Monday.

Thanks very much in advance.
 

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I would not get the bike unless I was no longer ... ever .. going to receive financial help from the parents, and had the money for both the wedding, and honeymoon already in han!! Or I would dump the girl, say sorry to the parents, buy the bike, and move on with my life :) \ Dan
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I would not get the bike unless I was no longer ... ever .. going to receive financial help from the parents, and had the money for both the wedding, and honeymoon already in han!! Or I would dump the girl, say sorry to the parents, buy the bike, and move on with my life :) \ Dan
Its a really difficult situation.

The woman is good stuff, supportive but looking out for my best interest so she stays. I feel like most good women would want everything invested toward the future, wedding or otherwise.

I suppose the biggest issue is the parents. I'm an EMT in NYC so while I have a career, its far from a well paying one. And I honestly couldn't say when ill be able to turn down money but the last thing I want is to be 65 with grandkids saying to myself "I wish I would have gotten it before I had a house/kids/grandkids that needed my full financial attention".

That's why I'm stuck. I can't let myself be irresonsible but if I don't get it now then I might never get it. I'm having trouble deciding if this is irresonsible or not.

Can anyone relate?
 

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Well, really it boils down to the basic question of independence. Some folks go their on way, others do not. You need to decide which group you want to be in, ie, how you want to live the rest of your life.

If you want to live the rest of your life with your parents and fiancee/wife telling you what to do and when to do it, then there's no problem, because that is what they want to do. No conflict.

If you don't want to live that way, then I'd guess that you have got some serious conflict headed your way. You'll need to prepare for that, if you choose that road.

I forgot, you wanted personals. I just bought a bike, my 900, against my wife's wishes. I have 2 long time friends who both want to buy cruisers. Both are financially well off. One of them is actively seeking a new bike, even though his wife doesn't want him to spend the money. The other guy will never own another motorcycle. He owned one when he was single. His wife forbids that now and forever.

Unfortunately, you only live once. Choose wisely. :)
 
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Dude if you want a bike go get you one. If she doesn't understand then find you a chick what wants to go riding and enjoy being happy with the wind in your face. Your parents will always love you. If they quit giving you money get a second job and enjoy riding your bike to and from work. It is your life! Man up Dude and go get your bike on Monday!!!
 

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Not to be blunt but it sounds to me like the first thing you need to learn is how to be your own man. Ask yourself if 15 years from now you'll be able to look at her the same way while you're filled with regret over "what if?"

Trying to rationalize buying a bike due to the savings of fuel and parking costs is a false economy at best.

As far as the parents I guess I can't relate as my parents while supportive have never assisted me financially as an adult.
 

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To me it is not a question of economy as a motorcycle is generally for pleasure rather than just a transportation device as I have to have a car as well. Always end up spending more with insurance, accessories, etc. In regards to your fiance, I find that compromise often is the best solution in a relationship. I was fortunate in that my wife and I both had off-road bikes shortly after getting married (much to the chagrin of the in-laws who did not like bikes). Once kids came along we sold hers, I hung on for a few years but just did not have the time after that. Once the kids got older, and time and money were a little more available we got back into biking by mutual agreement. She could have waited a bit longer but I was raring to go and have had 2 Goldwings and now the Vulcan in the last 6 years. If money is short right now and you are having to borrow just to get by, sometimes the "extras" have to wait. I would have loved to have had a bike when the kids were young but the money just was not there. So if this is really getting to you, my suggestion is to have a discussion with your fiance about finances and priorities.
 

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I have a bit of an issue with the purchase of my vulcan 900 and was hoping for some help.

My fiancee has made the argument that buying it would be wasteful and that I should put the money towards our future, such as a house.

She also made the argument that from time to time I receive financial help from my parents, and they've adamantly stated that if I get a bike I would be "disowned". I know its an exhaggeration but I worry what would happen if they heard that I've spent money on something they forbid.

I stated that the bike would save a world in fuel and parking expenses over my SUV and that its something I've always wanted. This would include buying the bike at $6,100 and yearly insurance of about $860. Did I unintentionally lie?

I'm not trying to air out my personal issues but the truth is that my fiancee has valid points, and its left me with a knot in my stomach. Now I'm questioning getting that which I've always dreamed of having.

I was hoping for some honest and MATURE advice as to the topic and what I've stated, as like I said, I'm left feeling sort of unsure, like taking your feet off the ground the first time you ride.

Personnal/similar experiences would really help.

I think your first have to decide if it's something you need, or something you want. You alone must decide the priorities in your life, but IMHO, buying a bike wouldn't be at the "TOP" of my list. If you can't afford to live on your own (without financial assistance), then listen to your fiancee. The parent's response is probably based strictly on emotional feelings, so that's up to you to convince them that you're responsible and mature enough to own a bike. One BIG mistake you're making, is to assume that the cost and insurance are the only expenses in owning a motorcycle. Unless you plan on doing all your own maintenance, a motorcycle is very expensive to have a dealer do the repairs and maintenance. Tires, batteries,oil changes are much more expensive than cars or trucks, and need to be done on a more-regular schedule. Owning bike can be much cheaper to operate on a daily basis, but over-all costs per year are much higher on a bike. Set a goal and a time to get a bike in the future, save a little each week, and see if it's want your really want in a few years. Planning your finances now will help keep you out of debt in the future;)
 

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While the timing may not be perfect for getting a scoot, NEVER give up your dreams!! If you do, there will be regret and resentment. A good woman/life partner will be willing to reach a compromise that both can be satisfied with. From a personal standpoint, it's worked in our house for the last 23 years. From a parents standpoint, it was never an issue with me, I moved out of my parents house at 16 and never looked back. I am who I am and I'll not change that for anyone, including my parents. If you go through with it, stick to your guns and make it work, if you have doubts, the don't buy it just yet, but do not give up, make sure that your fiance is aware that you're not giving up, just post-poning the inevitable. A someone said, life is a one-shot deal, make the most of it, it's way to short to have regrets. Best of luck with your decision!
 

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can't live with em.....

I had a bike on the road from the time I was 13 until shortly after I was married, and then didn't have another one until 30 years later.......A person can't help but think of the way things could have been, and what might have happened if I had kept on riding instead of concentrating on the house, the kids, the career etc. My wife didn't ask me to sell my bikes, I just did. She liked riding with me, but at the time I was into the superbike stage and couldn't keep my throttle hand under control, so I figured that it wasn't fair exchange of risk for reward.

When I was transferred to my current residence, I had to get my kids out of my old house and my wife into my new one. When she arrived at the new one there was a brand new 04 V2K toured up and idling in the driveway. She rides everywhere with me, and didn't even bat an eye when I bought my 900C, on Mother's Day:cool:

My advice is to pick your battles carefully. I obtained financial security thru a series of ups and downs, without a bike, but I would probably have done the same if I had one. As for the safety aspect, you can't read a book on a bike, you can't eat a breakfast sandwich on a bike, you don't usually text or telephone on a bike, so it is much safer to commute on.
 

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I know this may not be popular, but I am from the camp that shelter comes first before the toys. Why do you have to get a brand new motorcycle? You could sell this thing a lot better to your girlfriend and your parents if you bought a very used bike in the range of 2k to 3K. If you were able to buy it outright you would also save money by buying liability insurance only. Think small steps.
 

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Life is a comprimise, buy a used bike, save for the house and the wedding, show your fiscally responsble prowess and its a win win for everbody. You get to ride, it doesnt matter what, she gets a wedding, house and honeymoon and your parents still get too nag you ..... believe me Im 53 and it doesnt stop.

There is a poster here, his handle is as follows .....

"I far regretted what i didnt do,. rather than what i did." or words to that effect ... you get the idea.

Cheers Maurice
 

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Its a really difficult situation.

The woman is good stuff, supportive but looking out for my best interest so she stays. I feel like most good women would want everything invested toward the future, wedding or otherwise ?

Ask yourself this one important question, If you won't give up this thing, (Bike) for the woman you love, what else are you not willing to give up. Marriage is forever, it is life changing. If you want the bike more than future with this lady then you are not ready to get married.

The woman should be more than, "Good Stuff" she should be your life and number one prority. If you get the bike now I do not think you will enjoy it half as much as if you would have waited.

Perhaps a compromise is in order, agree to save now for the future and in a few years get the bike. You will be happier in the long run:)

Hope I helped
 

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I've been married for 31 years and I just got my bike two months ago. At first my wife was against it because she was afraid of the risks and she wanted us to not take on the additional financial burden. After about 13 months I finally got it with her blessing. I got a used bike for a great price in great condition with lots of extra goodies already on it. I had to convince her that I would be a safe driver and find a bargain so that the cost would not be a problem. It's not compromise, it's not negotiating, it's two people in an intimate relationship working together to make one another happy.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I had a serious talk and got her support. As to finances, ill be able to make due. Ill be picking up the bike tomorrow. Thanks so much for all the advise and "counseling". Its a good thing you guys don't charge psychologist fees.
 

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Some sage advice above on this one. The one word that stands out to me is compromise. If you and your fiance want to be together in 25years, then you are both going to have to learn to compromise. Not just on the bike issue, but on the myriad other issues that will arise during your time together! If there are some things that you just can't (wont) compromise on, then you should discuss these with your fiance now before you go any further, and find out if she has any non-compromisable issues herself. If you can't accept hers, and she can't accept yours, then these are going to be deal breakers and this is a marriage that will not last, so think very carefully if she is for you.
My own experience. I was in between bikes when I met my partner and got married. She knew I wanted another bike, but we also wanted to start a family, so we both agreed I would hold off for 5 years. After 5 years, the money wasn't the issue - she just didn't like bikes, so we agreed I could get a bike but that I wouldn't bug her to ride on it with me. I did, and we were married 34 years till she died and she never got on it once. I had to make a similar compromise about golf. I loved golf, but it is incredibly time consuming, so I agreed not to get back to it till our youngest was 10 years old (after that age they don't want to be with you all the time!). I did wait, and have been playing golf ever since.
If I had put my foot down on day one, our marriage would probably never have lasted. Today I am the luckiest man in the world - I have found a beautiful new partner, we have fallen in love, and I can't keep her off the bike when I go riding. When we are not on the bike, we spend out time planning new rides to go on together - talk about retiring and finding yourself in heaven!
 

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Today I am the luckiest man in the world - I have found a beautiful new partner, we have fallen in love, and I can't keep her off the bike when I go riding. When we are not on the bike, we spend out time planning new rides to go on together - talk about retiring and finding yourself in heaven![/QUOTE]

I know what you mean, it took me 30 years to get my bike. One day I express to my wife how I always wanted to get a nice bike. She told me to go pick one out, I did and she bought for me. Now my wife and I ride together, take and plan trip to the coast, mountains, etc. perhaps I waited a little too long to get a bike but now both my wife and I enjoy it together and that is sweet.:)
 

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First of all, the bike is NOT going to save you money. It's going to COST you money, and a lot more than you anticipate. You're going to need riding gear, which will run you $300 to $400 minimum; you're going to NEED a Rider's Training course, which is another $300; insurance is not cheap for a first time rider, probably run you about $1,000 a year; and once you get the bike you're going to NEED accessories: seat, pipes, risers, bags, piece of chrome here, piece of chrome there; and after a summer of spending a few thousand on it, you're going to NEED something bigger.

Second, if the bug bites you, you're going to want to ride, not just on summer days when the grass needs to be cut, but on Thanksgiving when it's 42 degrees. And if your/her family aren't into bikes they're going to think you're NUTS, talk behind your back, and threaten to disown/divorce you, especially when you show up on holidays in your leathers with helmet head (helmet head is what a helmet does to your hair, sort of like bed head only worse). :(

Third, is your fiance really concerned that your parents are going to disown you, or is she concerned that SHE'S going to disown you? If she's not into bikes, that wouldn't be an unreasonable concern on her part. A bike can become a very big thing in a man's life, something that she may not want to compete with, not to mention the risk to the person she'd be building her life with.

And last but not least, seems to me if you're old enough to be getting married/buying a house, you're old enough to be making decisions about your life without your parents' consent. Ask for their blessing but not for their permission.

Follow your heart. Good luck.
______________
IntheWind
'06 1500 Classic
 

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Good luck with the bike. I had to make a choice many years ago too and I do not regret it. I had to go without a bike for over 15 years. It was not till this year that she felt good about me getting one again. To make her feel better I did the MMSP safety course. Then I looked for a used bike with a $2500 cap on spending. I found one for $2200 and bought it. I got my bike money by selling off parts cars I had held onto for many years and whatever other recyclable I could find. Took two weeks and a little work. In the end, I did not add any financial burden to my family in order to purchase it. I do not regret the years without at all because family will always come first. This is the first toy I have ever bought myself and I love it. Still, being the man means sacrifice sometimes and I take it as an honor to do so for my family when the need is there. If we ever fall on hard times, the toy will go first. No reason for the expense. It is not justifiable.
 

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Ultimately, you gotta "be your own man", as someone else has said, and make your own decision. You'll get a lot of opinions (already have) on here, but that's all they are - opinions. No one lives life in your shoes, and no one can make those decisions but you. How important is it to you the way your parents see you? How important is your fiancé to you? Will she ever bend?

That being said, my wife was deathly afraid of motorcycles when I got married. But, she rode with me on trips with my father's bikes early on. I wasn't in a position to buy my own for several years. Then, I started buying cheap used bikes. Gradually, my wife would go on a joy ride with me from time to time, and she started liking getting out and riding. She wouldn't agree to go on the interstates at first. Then, we decided to take multi-day trips. We wanted to make time, because of leaving the house late, and had no choice but to go on the interstate. She saw it wasn't so bad.

Now, my wife has her own bike, and loves to get out and ride. Her stated reason for getting the bike was for fuel economy, but I know she likes to ride now.

Moral of the story, if you warm them up to it, you can go further than to buck them on an issue. Just my experience and opinion, though.
 
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