New path in my journey of life...
I want to share this with u'all tho it will be a bit long so bear with me...
I'll begin years ago. In my twenties I knew I did not want to have kids. My thoughts at the time was that I wanted to play and did not want to be, sorry to say, "burdened" by raising kids. Really good thing I didn't cuz I would not have been a good dad due to my selfishness and self-centeredness.
At about 30 y/o I met the woman who I was to marry a few years later. I thought she was the gift from God cuz she did not want kids either, so at the age of 30 I had a vasectomy. Didn't freeze any sperm and never really regretted it, matter of fact had lotsa "fun" never havin to worry about a pregnancy.
The marriage ended and after a couple of years got into a relationship with a woman that had 2 sons. They were 8 and 11 when we started dating. I really, I mean I really didn't want to be involved with someone who had kids, hell I had an operation to prevent that! The relationship got serious and as time went by I spent more and more time with her and the kids, especially after her divorce. I eventually moved in and we were a family. They still had their dad but unfortunately he had pretty much been buried in the disease of alcoholism their whole lives. So of course they were missing so much of what a positive male role model can give.
They called me their "second dad" and I told them they were the "sons I never had". I strived to do for them what their (and my) dad did not/could not do. I spent quality time with them, told them I loved them, took them to the store when Christmas/Mother's day/ her b/day came around, had them pick out cards and gifts, took them back and had them wrap them up and give them to her. They had never done that, of course never been shown that.
God opened my heart up to them and for the first time in my life really felt I had a worthwhile purpose, to love those boys and to be a positive male role model.
That relationship ended in 2011 and since then there has been a hole in my heart. I have missed having that connection, have missed all of that in my heart. Those memories are just so friggin priceless, more so as I have not been involved with them in 2 1/2 yrs.
A few weeks ago I took a couple of my friends to visit another friend that had surgery and one of the ladies brought her 4 y/o grandson. During the visit that little boy, shall I say "attached" himself to me so to speak, interacting with me, having me draw pictures in his book. I managed to visit with my recovering friend a bit, but that boy and I really had fun. it touched me as I have not been in 2 1/2 years.
I spoke with the grandma a few days later and told her how much I enjoyed her grandson and how it re-awakened that part of my heart and how I had missed that connection to a kid. She suggested I check out the Big Brother/Big Sister program. So the next day I emailed their basic application, they sent me the big application which I dropped off at their office bout a wekk and a half ago.
Well, Tuesday I got the call from them and I have been accepted into the program, I'm gonna be a "big brother"!! I have an appointment with a case worker this comin Monday to really get the ball rollin. To say that not only am I excited but I am grateful and humbled.
Even though I strive to give back and to offer support in the m/c community (and that is rewarding in of itself) and to others who are less fortunate, what greater gift can I give but to be a positive male role model to some young kid who has been deprived of that very important part of growing up.
Goes to show me how God works and where he needs me and where I need to go.
"TRUE HAPPINESS IS IN THE HEART,NOT IN THE OUTSIDE FIXES!!"
WITH OVER 42 YEARS AS A MOTORCYCLE TECHNICIAN/HI-PO SHOP OWNER I AM A PURVEYOR OF FACT NOT FICTION!
"WE LIVE OUR LIVES IN CHAINS NEVER KNOWING WE HAD THE KEY"
Last edited by RACNRAY; 04-03-2014 at 04:40 PM.