New path in my journey of life... - Kawasaki Vulcan Forum : Vulcan Forums
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-03-2014, 04:32 PM Thread Starter
Lifetime Premium
 
RACNRAY's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: SOUTH FLORIDA
Posts: 1,667
New path in my journey of life...

I want to share this with u'all tho it will be a bit long so bear with me...

I'll begin years ago. In my twenties I knew I did not want to have kids. My thoughts at the time was that I wanted to play and did not want to be, sorry to say, "burdened" by raising kids. Really good thing I didn't cuz I would not have been a good dad due to my selfishness and self-centeredness.

At about 30 y/o I met the woman who I was to marry a few years later. I thought she was the gift from God cuz she did not want kids either, so at the age of 30 I had a vasectomy. Didn't freeze any sperm and never really regretted it, matter of fact had lotsa "fun" never havin to worry about a pregnancy.

The marriage ended and after a couple of years got into a relationship with a woman that had 2 sons. They were 8 and 11 when we started dating. I really, I mean I really didn't want to be involved with someone who had kids, hell I had an operation to prevent that! The relationship got serious and as time went by I spent more and more time with her and the kids, especially after her divorce. I eventually moved in and we were a family. They still had their dad but unfortunately he had pretty much been buried in the disease of alcoholism their whole lives. So of course they were missing so much of what a positive male role model can give.

They called me their "second dad" and I told them they were the "sons I never had". I strived to do for them what their (and my) dad did not/could not do. I spent quality time with them, told them I loved them, took them to the store when Christmas/Mother's day/ her b/day came around, had them pick out cards and gifts, took them back and had them wrap them up and give them to her. They had never done that, of course never been shown that.

God opened my heart up to them and for the first time in my life really felt I had a worthwhile purpose, to love those boys and to be a positive male role model.

That relationship ended in 2011 and since then there has been a hole in my heart. I have missed having that connection, have missed all of that in my heart. Those memories are just so friggin priceless, more so as I have not been involved with them in 2 1/2 yrs.

A few weeks ago I took a couple of my friends to visit another friend that had surgery and one of the ladies brought her 4 y/o grandson. During the visit that little boy, shall I say "attached" himself to me so to speak, interacting with me, having me draw pictures in his book. I managed to visit with my recovering friend a bit, but that boy and I really had fun. it touched me as I have not been in 2 1/2 years.

I spoke with the grandma a few days later and told her how much I enjoyed her grandson and how it re-awakened that part of my heart and how I had missed that connection to a kid. She suggested I check out the Big Brother/Big Sister program. So the next day I emailed their basic application, they sent me the big application which I dropped off at their office bout a wekk and a half ago.

Well, Tuesday I got the call from them and I have been accepted into the program, I'm gonna be a "big brother"!! I have an appointment with a case worker this comin Monday to really get the ball rollin. To say that not only am I excited but I am grateful and humbled.

Even though I strive to give back and to offer support in the m/c community (and that is rewarding in of itself) and to others who are less fortunate, what greater gift can I give but to be a positive male role model to some young kid who has been deprived of that very important part of growing up.

Goes to show me how God works and where he needs me and where I need to go.

RACNRAY

"TRUE HAPPINESS IS IN THE HEART,NOT IN THE OUTSIDE FIXES!!"
WITH OVER 42 YEARS AS A MOTORCYCLE TECHNICIAN/HI-PO SHOP OWNER I AM A PURVEYOR OF FACT NOT FICTION!
"WE LIVE OUR LIVES IN CHAINS NEVER KNOWING WE HAD THE KEY"

Last edited by RACNRAY; 04-03-2014 at 04:40 PM.
RACNRAY is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-03-2014, 06:06 PM
Top Contributor
 
Luciferiad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Twin Falls, ID
Posts: 1,068
Garage
Good on ya, Ray

OURS
2011 Victory Cross Roads, crimson red

"There is only one God, and His name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: 'not today.'"
Luciferiad is offline  
post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-03-2014, 06:09 PM
V2K Rogue Wrangler
 
Kaw-poke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,112
The greatest gift is to give yourself. May God bless you.


Sent from Motorcycle.com App
Kaw-poke is offline  
 
post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-03-2014, 06:53 PM
wds
Senior Member
 
wds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: ct and thailand
Posts: 152
good man

Great news Ray,
I also never had kids until my stepdaughter had a son, who is now the light of my life.
Enjoy yourself!!! You have way more to give than you ever imagined.
Kids know that!
wds is offline  
post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-04-2014, 07:24 AM
Lifetime Premium
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 864
That's great, Ray. I never had kids of my own myself. Don't regret it, mind you - the madness had to stop with me.

Let us know how it works out. I suspect you'll do great.
Lunatic is offline  
post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-04-2014, 11:05 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 213
Good for you, Ray! Making a difference in someone's life makes it all worth while.

I didn't have any kids either until 15 years ago I married a lady who has a special needs son. She is ten years older than me, and her son is ten years younger. AT 53, it is a hoot for me to go to Wal-Mart and have everyone look when he says "Hey Dad- Look at this!" His bio dad has not been a part of his life since he was 12. I am not his dad really, but I am a friend and a mentor. He respects my opinion and listens to me better than he listens to Mom. We have fun together, and he as taught me more about myself.

I used to read a lot of Norman Vincent Peal stuff when I was in a depression part of my life. He advocates positive thinking, helping others, and walking with our Lord and Savior. One thing that I read was that "You can never out-give God. Whatever you give, God will give you more in return." I have found that to be very true. I am not a great example of giving, and I don't always have the balls to do it, but I can say that every time I have given time, money, or things to others less fortunate, it always has come back to me more than I have given! Try it and see!

Anyway, may God Bless you and your work, Ray.

2011 Voyager 1700
Ebony/Pearl Meteor Gray
Bridgestone Exedra Max tires in stock sizes
Kuryakyn Longhorn Offset Dually Highway Pegs
DEI Titanium exhaust header wrap
Polk Audio db521 speakers
Mobil 1 Racing 4T 10W-40
Mobil 1 M1-110 filter
Boscoe is offline  
post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-04-2014, 11:17 AM
Top Contributor
 
SWVA_08V2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southwest Virginia
Posts: 3,219
Very admirable step in life. I did not think I wanted any children either, long story short we had our daughter by accident, but love her dearly. I hope all works out good for you and you can make a difference our next generation. Don't get frustrated if you feel like you are not making a difference at first, trust me you are. Might not be seen right away, but one of these days those young ones will look back and reflect on those positive influences.

1985 Honda Nighthawk 650 (First Bike)
2004 Vulcan 1500 Classic (First Big Bike)
2007 Vulcan 1600 Meanstreak (Love Affair)
1999 Yamaha 1100 V-Star Custom (Right Price at the Time)
2008 V2K Classic (Favorite Vulcan)
2014 HD Ultra Limited (Bells and Whistles)
Who would have thought I would grow up to become "Spatially Educated" and play Connect-the-Dots for a living.
SWVA_08V2k is offline  
post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-04-2014, 11:47 PM
BOTM Winner, April 2014
 
Steammaker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 786
Good for you, Ray! Wanting to Make a difference in someone's life is a great thing. Your a good man, there's not many in our world as it is today. God Bless...

'03 MEANSTREAK
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 1 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 1 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Steammaker is offline  
post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-05-2014, 12:39 AM
Top Contributor
 
Romans5.8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Missouri
Year/Make/Model: 2014 Kawasaki Vulcan Vaquero ABS SE
Displacement/CC's: 1700
Color: Orange SE
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,620
Garage
Blessings on you Ray as you embark on what sounds like a pretty incredible opportunity. Good luck to you my friend!

"8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:8 (NIV)

2014 Kawasaki Vulcan 1700 Vaquero ABS SE
iPod Connector Kit, Kuryakyn Highway Pegs, Mustang Touring Seat, Marvella's Hitch, Kuryakyn Trailer Wiring Kit, Haul-Master Tag-a-Long Cargo Trailer

2011 Honda Shadow Aero 750 (Wife's)

Memphis shades quick-release windshield, OEM Solo Seat, Mustang Fender Bib, Chrome Solo Luggage Rack

Past: 2006 Vulcan 900 Classic LT
Romans5.8 is offline  
post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-06-2014, 09:31 AM
Lifetime Premium
 
Dubi Loo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: In the wind, based in Chicagoland.
Year/Make/Model: 2011 Voyager VN1700BBF
Displacement/CC's: 1700
Color: Blue
Gender: Male
Posts: 61
Garage
Atta Boy! While kids can drive you nuts more often than not, the rewards more than make up for any frustrations. You are doing a wonderful thing for those who don't know what a positive male role model can do in their lives.
I have three from my first wife, and my second wife introduced two more into my family. Second wife is in heaven now, but "our" sons remain. I wouldn't trade being Daddy for anything. Enjoy!

2011 VV 1700 ABS
FDNY 343, NEVER FORGET. DESPITE THE POLITICIANS WHO ALREADY HAVE.
Dubi Loo is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
New Life to a new life.. VN1500 Project 43-Happy Vulcan 1500 0 07-31-2015 09:32 AM
Installing a Kill-switch/charging path Sedonadon Vulcan 2000 11 03-24-2015 09:39 PM
Off the beaten path sage1965 Vulcan 1500 10 07-25-2013 07:21 AM
My continuing journey... deepiper New Riders 12 09-09-2012 05:30 AM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome