Men unite ! - Kawasaki Vulcan Forum : Vulcan Forums
 
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 01-23-2014, 08:26 AM Thread Starter
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Men unite !

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...


^^^^^^ and that's the TRUTH!!!


Tim

You know what the farmer said when his horse died? Funny, she's never done that before!
2012 Electra-Glide, 2006 Vulcan 900,
1999 Suzuki SV650, 1975 Honda CB750
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 01-23-2014, 08:46 AM
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That should be posted on the walls of every gynecologist, and marrage counsler office. And tought in Home Ec. class as well. Laughed at the one about the horse in your signature.

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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 06-26-2014, 03:08 AM
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This may be a way off topic, but it seems man-talk, and I just found something out that I thought was hilarious...

I broke up with my fiancée about six months ago when I found out she'd been cheating. Then, I found out that not only did she cheat on me with "just the one guy, just one time" but she'd had an ongoing affair with one of her instructors at school (diesel tech school. Yeah, I know, not what you'd expect from a chick, but whatever, my mom's a coal miner).

So this instructor was married with three kids. Wife left him, took the kids, he got fired, yadda yadda yadda.

Her and I met on a forum. Just recently I was banned for life, for "attacking the moderating staff". Yeah, kiss my ass, talk shit to me, I'll talk shit right back, I don't care who you are and being a moderator on an online forum to me is NOTHING. No disrespect to the mods here, if we even have any, but seriously. If Jesus Christ himself came to earth and said "f*** you, trip." I'll say right back "well f*** you too you f***ing f***." Point is, I treat everyone the way I want to be treated, but if I'm attacked, I will attack back in kind. As I stick around here, y'all will notice I don't go out of my way to offer offense to anyone.

So, dude that banned me? He's married, with kids. I didn't realize it, but he lives in the area she just moved to. Immediately after he banned me, her and him started some online romance with a little meet and greet involved.

Oh my. Tell me he picked a fight with me and then banned me just because he wanted her favor.

Coming live, from West, by God, Funroe Louisiana.

Come if you must, but only if you must. For the day you find yourself upon my step will surely be the night you find peace along Jordan's edge.

Without the rain, we'd never appreciate the sun~E.S.
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